If I want to leave a post title blank, I damn well will...

Burgers

When amateur inventor Darius Bottomly discovered a cache of over 200 burnt and blackened bangers hidden in a patch of weeds at the bottom of his garden he obviously assumed that he had chanced upon some kind of natural sausage spring.   But when groundwater tests revealed an almost total absence of pork or beef, the mystery deepened.  It was only once he had observed his neighbour dropping them over the fence after a family barbecue that he realised that his garden was being used as a dumping ground for unwanted food.

Bottomly's response was to develop the self-propelling burger, a drone patty that can, at a given signal, flip itself up off the barbecue and strike any target within a two hundred yard radius.  The test flight of the prototype saw not only a successful launch but also a confirmed kill as it smashed straight through next door's patio window and fatally impacted the family's second favourite goldfish.  Bottomly's neighbour has since retaliated by stepping up his sausage dumping activities, launching wave after wave of the frazzled bangers over the boundary at random times throughout the day.  And although Bottomly admits that he is currently under siege, he is confident that the tide of the conflict will turn just as soon as he has perfected his sausage-seeking chicken drumstick which will be able to knock incoming meat products out of the air before they have chance to do any real damage.

The History of Rock

Part 9: The Osmonds

At the last count there were over four hundred thousand Osmonds and it wasn't so long ago that there was genuine fear that they would overrun the planet. Thankfully we now know that the population has reached equilibrium...

More: http://www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk/rock/articles/osmonds.php

Ricky Stratocaster's Patently Untrue Rock Facts #2:

Lou Reed is David Bowie's imaginary friend.

There are three different types of rocks:  igneous, sedimentary and metamorphic. (Note, this is probably the wrong type of rock fact).

The Beatles hold the record for the most consecutive weeks spent at No 1 Acacia Avenue, Leytonstone.

Elvis Presley was allergic to Tuesdays.

Record players weren't invented until five years after the invention of the vinyl record.  Officially, CD players still don't exist.