Come to Monkworld

Chortle at the antics of the funny friars in the monks' circus. Maybe catch a glimpse of one of the mighty feral bishops that roam the ancient woodland. It's all here at Monkworld, just off the A329! Check out the interactive map.

Out Now

Over 280 pages of selected nonsense, including flying carrots, haunted kitchen appliances, modified tortoises, Truffles the Gentleman Pig and much more.

More Details...

Teaching Carrots to Fly

To mark the release of The University of the Bleeding Obvious: Volume Two we are pleased to present the three minute animated epic "Teaching Carrots to Fly".


Thrill to the gloriously executed 2D animation! Gasp at the stunning mono soundtrack! Shudder at the spectacularly adequate vocal performances!

Head on over to YouTube now, and prepare to be slightly dazzled...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzpUub-Xulg

Publshed soon...

The University of the Bleeding Obvious: Volume Two

From the archives of The University of the Bleeding Obvious comes this second collection of diverse amusements. Dug up, hosed down and dragged screaming into the light, many of these articles have been lovingly restored to their former glory. Using rare nouns sourced from all over the world, and the latest polymer-based verbs and adverbs, fragile sentences have been painstakingly cleaned and repaired, and whole paragraphs reconstructed.

So now you can enjoy "Shave the Moon!" and "Oven Chimps" as they were originally meant to be seen, pore hungrily over "Teaching Carrots to Fly" presented in glorious high definition, and read about a day in the life of Doctor Adolphous Bongo, confident in the knowledge that none of the words will drop off. Enjoy.

Contents

• Invitation to a Monk's Tea Party


• Stopping Distances


• Caught by the Fuzz


• Piffin


• Pig, Devil


• The Bubble Bloke


• Professional Scarer


• Dr Bongo's Moles


• Mountain Rescue


• Tattoo, Ants, Gravy


• Shave the Moon!


• Quickfire Questions


• Sofas are from Venus…


• Cut Price Chips


• History of Rock: The Beatles


• Not Funny


• *@%£!, Zebras


• Auras by Post


• There and Back Again by Elastic


• Motorcycle Display Teams


• Skydiving


• Jez Moonbeam Invents… Dog Poo with Wheels


• Fats Porker


• Oven Chimps


• The Thoroughfare of Success


• Butterfly


• Yeti Makeover


• Occuloid Laserprobe


• First Annual Bleeding Obvious Award…


• Jaggedy


• Louse, Spiders, Mars


• The Trivial Accident Group


• Rob Hammond's Essential Guide to Buddhism


• A Very Local Paper


• Jez Moonbeam Invents… Wind Powered Spoon


• Appliances


• Maisy Donnington's Guide to Perking Yourself Up


• Exploding Dinners


• Project Scooby


• Sandwiches Through the Ages


• The Sandwich Advisor


• Cold Fusion Sandwiches


• Fatquake


• Teaching Carrots to Fly


• Jez Moonbeam Invents… Wing Mirrors for Fish


• Optimum Leaning Angles


• Brick II


• Did Man Really Go to Belgium?


• Wind Tunnel Technician


• Global Moistening


• Cobblers, 1965


• Jez Moonbeam Invents… Egg Umbrella


• Barker Harris


• Amateur Stamp Collector Collector


• Nobby Wentworth's Pet Surgery


• History of Rock: Elvis


• Gravy Boat, Chip-Writer


• Jazz Bomb


• Jez Moonbeam Invents… Sneeze Wheel


• Fish Olympics


• Official Apologies


• A Tall Order


• What Is It?


• Flyover, DIY Olympics


• Springboard to the Stars


• Jez Moonbeam Invents… Pogo Ejector Seat


• Pirates


• Sir Barnaby Tonk Shines a Light


• New Horizons in Business Management


• Montreux Clinic for Aural Readjustment


• Mozart's Parrot


• Polishers, Monsters


• Barney's Magic Number Show


• Jez Moonbeam Invents… Headlights for Sheep


• Traditional Wisdom


• Grand Theft Equine


• Perfect Circle, Rungs


• The Henderson Foundation For Recently Bereaved Herrings


• Lobster Facts


• Dr Bongo - A Day in the Life


• Skippy's Opera


• Transatlantic Gardening

Coming Soon:

The University of the Bleeding Obvious: Volume Two

New T-Shirts, Old Books

Our newly-appointed head of merchandising, Mr Rodney Plunkett, would like a few words with you all on the occasion of our shop relaunch.

Yes, hello, Plunkers here, and I must say that this is a bit of a turnip for the old books, or however the expression goes. Old Rodders, who the fellows back at my old school once voted ‘Chap Most Likely to Accidentally Flush Himself Down the Toilet’, being made head of merchandising! And they said that I’d never amount to anything.

I must confess that the route to this present exalted position has been somewhat circuitous. After Cambridge, the Rodmeister was fast-tracked into a cushy little number at the Foreign Office, but I made rather a hash of it, I’m afraid. When a chap gets caught with his hand in the till, his nose in the personal affairs of the Ambassador for Lugash and his finger in a rather pretty little secretary called Janice, there’s really no option but to whisk him out of the way before the press can get a whiff of his aftershave.

Subsequent to this trifling setback my Aunt Jemima formed the opinion that a spell in the teaching profession might do me a world of good and, more importantly, keep me out of harm’s way. Aunt J being in a position to pull a few strings - and a formidable sod to boot - she soon obtained for me a cosy little post in a prep school, miles from civilisation in the wild and woolly badlands of East Anglia. I have to say that old Roddington really took to the life of a schoolmaster: drinking tea in the staff room, supervising rugger matches and occasionally scrawling ‘could do better’ in the odd exercise book. But for the incident of the albino donkey, the margarine and the industrial strength suction pump, I would have been there still.

There followed similarly ignominious stints in the South African police, an animal charity, as headline writer for the Bbc ‘news’ website, and as a solicitor. In this last post yours truly very nearly earned the distinction of securing the first hanging in Britain since 1964, for a man I was defending on a parking offence. I was also a merchant banker for a while - that didn’t end well.

Not to worry. When a fellow has a CV like that to his name, it’s only a matter of time before someone comes a-knocking. Happily, the people doing the hammering on Roddypoop’s door were those jolly chaps from The University of the Bleeding Obvious. Actually, Aunt Jemima was instrumental in this instance as well - apparently she has Polaroids of that Farnsworth fellow. I haven’t seen them myself, but Uncle Steven says they’re pretty racy stuff.

But so much for all this flim-flammery. The point is the UBO chaps have relaunched the shop, with the books that they brought out years ago, and some spanking brand new T-shirts, which I’m told is what the kids really go for. And they wanted the Rodulator to generally ‘big it up’, get the word out, so to speak, and drum up a bit of trade. And of course, my first response once given this awe-inspiring task was obvious: sandwiches.

T-shirts and books are all very splendid, but in my experience what the baying public really wants is somewhere it can get a really good sandwich. Not as easy at it sounds, once you’ve looked into it. It’s the packaging that really taxes the old bean – just can’t seem to get the hang of it. Most of the more fragile concoctions don’t survive in transit, and anything involving mayonnaise just trickles out of the envelope. We’re experimenting with crease-resistant lettuce and reinforced chicken, but until we get it right, you’ll just have to be content with the more traditional fare.

TTFN.
Plunkers
UK Shop
US Shop

Kicking and Screaming

The latest update, Kicking and Screaming, has now gone live, and it's frankly too late for anybody to do anything about it. Sorry.

For your viewing pleasure it comes in two distinct flavours - the web version which you can visit here and a shiny downloadable extended pdf version, with extra articles, which is here: pdf. You can also download wallpapers and posters, and there's one or two other twiddly bits tucked away in there. So, off you go then... why are you still here?