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The University of the Bleeding Obvious: Volume Two

From the archives of The University of the Bleeding Obvious comes this second collection of diverse amusements. Dug up, hosed down and dragged screaming into the light, many of these articles have been lovingly restored to their former glory. Using rare nouns sourced from all over the world, and the latest polymer-based verbs and adverbs, fragile sentences have been painstakingly cleaned and repaired, and whole paragraphs reconstructed.

So now you can enjoy "Shave the Moon!" and "Oven Chimps" as they were originally meant to be seen, pore hungrily over "Teaching Carrots to Fly" presented in glorious high definition, and read about a day in the life of Doctor Adolphous Bongo, confident in the knowledge that none of the words will drop off. Enjoy.

Contents

• Invitation to a Monk's Tea Party


• Stopping Distances


• Caught by the Fuzz


• Piffin


• Pig, Devil


• The Bubble Bloke


• Professional Scarer


• Dr Bongo's Moles


• Mountain Rescue


• Tattoo, Ants, Gravy


• Shave the Moon!


• Quickfire Questions


• Sofas are from Venus…


• Cut Price Chips


• History of Rock: The Beatles


• Not Funny


• *@%£!, Zebras


• Auras by Post


• There and Back Again by Elastic


• Motorcycle Display Teams


• Skydiving


• Jez Moonbeam Invents… Dog Poo with Wheels


• Fats Porker


• Oven Chimps


• The Thoroughfare of Success


• Butterfly


• Yeti Makeover


• Occuloid Laserprobe


• First Annual Bleeding Obvious Award…


• Jaggedy


• Louse, Spiders, Mars


• The Trivial Accident Group


• Rob Hammond's Essential Guide to Buddhism


• A Very Local Paper


• Jez Moonbeam Invents… Wind Powered Spoon


• Appliances


• Maisy Donnington's Guide to Perking Yourself Up


• Exploding Dinners


• Project Scooby


• Sandwiches Through the Ages


• The Sandwich Advisor


• Cold Fusion Sandwiches


• Fatquake


• Teaching Carrots to Fly


• Jez Moonbeam Invents… Wing Mirrors for Fish


• Optimum Leaning Angles


• Brick II


• Did Man Really Go to Belgium?


• Wind Tunnel Technician


• Global Moistening


• Cobblers, 1965


• Jez Moonbeam Invents… Egg Umbrella


• Barker Harris


• Amateur Stamp Collector Collector


• Nobby Wentworth's Pet Surgery


• History of Rock: Elvis


• Gravy Boat, Chip-Writer


• Jazz Bomb


• Jez Moonbeam Invents… Sneeze Wheel


• Fish Olympics


• Official Apologies


• A Tall Order


• What Is It?


• Flyover, DIY Olympics


• Springboard to the Stars


• Jez Moonbeam Invents… Pogo Ejector Seat


• Pirates


• Sir Barnaby Tonk Shines a Light


• New Horizons in Business Management


• Montreux Clinic for Aural Readjustment


• Mozart's Parrot


• Polishers, Monsters


• Barney's Magic Number Show


• Jez Moonbeam Invents… Headlights for Sheep


• Traditional Wisdom


• Grand Theft Equine


• Perfect Circle, Rungs


• The Henderson Foundation For Recently Bereaved Herrings


• Lobster Facts


• Dr Bongo - A Day in the Life


• Skippy's Opera


• Transatlantic Gardening