An important announcement about your Sluggo Slug Repair Kit

Many readers may have recently purchased the Sluggo Slug Repair Kit after seeing an advert on this page. The distributors have made us aware that a number of these kits have been sent out without the correct documentation and have asked us to reprint the instructions here. Of course, we realise that it's a sad day indeed when intelligent people cannot be trusted to figure out the fundamental principles behind mending broken slugs. Indeed, I'm sure we all remember the basics from school biology lessons, along with untying worms and welding badgers, but in the interests of keeping the Health and Safety people sweet, here goes:

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Step 1 
Locate the puncture by placing the slug in a bucket of water and looking for the bubbles. Don't worry, the water won't harm your slug, but remember to hold his nose otherwise when he comes out he'll be all sneezy and cross.

Step 2 
Carefully dry your slug using a fluffy towel, hair dryer or blow torch.

Step 3 
Apply a few dabs of slug glue to the special patch, fix over the puncture and make sure you achieve an airtight seal by stamping on it repeatedly and laughing manically for about twenty minutes.

Step 4
Inflate your slug to 30 psi (or 38 psi if fully laden). CAUTION: Be careful not to over-inflate your slug. Over-inflation will give it wind and make its eyes bulge, and anything over 45 psi will make it go off like a rocket.

Step 5
And you're done! Your snotty little pet is now good to go. Make sure he watches where he's going next time.